YOU’RE CHEAP-You left a shitty tip, you asked her to Venmo you ten bucks, or you said: “You get this one, I’ll get the next one?” If you are stingy out of bed, she assumes you’ll be the same between the sheets. If you’re low on funds, take her for a romantic picnic in the park. All you need is a sheet, a sketch pad and a bottle of decent wine. Here are some great ones under $10. DO NOT SHOW UP WITH CHATEAU DIANA. If you can’t afford a decent bottle, get a fucking job.
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO STFU: You talked WAY too much about yourself, your bros, your job, your dog, and you didn’t ask her anything about her world. This is the fastest way to make a woman go from “into it” to “over it”.
YOU LIVE LIKE A SLOB: If you got her back to your place and she left promptly thereafter, it’s most likely because she was appalled by the way you live. Read NSA Principle 2 and eliminate everything on that list from your home.
YOU CAN’T KISS: I can teach you. Saturday, July 28th. Joe’s Pub NYC. Reserve a seat.
SHE’S JUST IN IT FOR THE FREE FOOD: If she’s super responsive to texts but always super busy unless it’s dinnertime, if she always wants to bring her super fun friend along, if she tells you you’re super sexy, but you’ve known her for two months and haven’t kissed yet, or if you met her on Craig’s List–she’s probably a Food Whore.
SHE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU: It happens, brah. RIP and move the fuck on.