If you’re feeling like shit this January, these 6 quick tips will help you start and stay in control TODAY.
1. MASTURBATE IN THE MORNING- 10 minutes. No porn. Use your imagination. Toys encouraged.
2. YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE-The bullshit “extra 10 minutes” of sleep does nothing but increase anxiety and decrease fuckability. Get up and get off.
3. STAY OFF SOCIAL- For the first hour you’re awake, stay off the fucking phone. Wasting time consuming useless information from other people’s lives does nothing but fuck yours up.
4. DOWN A GLASS OF WATER- Quickly drinking a tall glass of cold water instantly makes you feel alert, energized and ready to conquer the world.
5. 100 SQUATS- It takes 3 minutes and makes a huge difference. If you don’t pay attention to your ass, nobody else will either.
6. WEAR ALL BLACK- It always looks hot. Fitted pants. Fitted sweater. Sunglasses. Done.
Tomorrow your genitals could turn to dust.