1. Champagne: In the words of Mickey Avalon, “…cause the blow so yummy and it keeps her tummy empty, and makes her act more friendly”. He was talking about cocaine, but the same is true of real champagne. If you drink two to four glasses of fine champagne, you’ll feel fabulous, sexy and totally not hungry. Buy the expensive kind so you drink it slowly and savor every sip. Here’s my FAVORITE.
“Skinny Margartia”= 179 calories per drink. Champagne= 90 calories per glass.
2. Pineapple: It fills you up quick, jumpstarts your metabolism, satisfies your sweet tooth and makes your genital secretions taste AMAZING. I always eat pineapple for breakfast, and people always want to have me for dinner.
1 cup fresh pineapple= 82 calories
3. Porn: Watching porn will inspire you to get that porn-star body and masturbating boosts your metabolism. Make it a rule that for every porn clip you click on, you have to do plank for 1 minute. Here’s my current favorite erotic film starring the beautiful Xander Corvus and Veronica Rodriguez. I always watch porn before hitting the gym.
1 porn clip and 10 minutes of masturbation= 100-150 calories burned!
4. Eggs: Eat three in the morning, even if you’re not hungry. It will keep you satisfied and energized for hours. If you’re trying to lose weight fast, toss the yolks and add tons of veggies to your egg white omelette and stay away from the cheese!
3 eggs= 240 calories, 6 egg whites= 120 calories
5. Common Sense: If you want to lose weight, you must burn more calories than you consume. If you drink a “healthy smoothie” that has 400 calories after you’ve just worked out for an hour, you’ve just negated all your hard work. Eat an egg or some pineapple if you’re hungry. Or better yet, watch some porn and have a glass of champagne. Or even better yet, have 4 glasses of champagne and MAKE a porn.
1 hr moderate circuit training, 4 glasses champs, and 1 hr of sexing= 300-1,000 calories burned
I am currently offering personal training, nutrition and work-out buddy services to people who live in NYC. My methods are effective and my rates are affordable. Stop making excuses and start moving your fat ass.
Write DoctorAlex@NeverSleepAlone.com for more info.