(This article originally appeared in Time Out New York)
Below I offer some horny single New Yorkers advice on how to make that V-Day MBO happen. Send your sex and dating questions to: DoctorAlex@NeverSleepAlone.com.
Question: What’s a surefire way to make sure I get some on Valentine’s Day weekend?
Dr. A: Your best platonic friend is your worst sexual enemy. So, this Friday night, dress to the nines and go out ALONE. Bring a notebook to a popular bar and pretend you’re a journalist doing a story on Valentine’s Day. Approach a sexy stranger and ask to interview him or her; use the opener “What is your V-Day resolution?” to start a fun conversation. When they ask what your V-Day resolution is, look them in the eye and say, “To give a hot stranger the best orgasm of their life.” Again, you must go alone. Remember: BFF=UCB (Best Friend Forever=Ultimate Cock Block).
Question: I’m shy and have trouble approaching people I’m interested in. How can I overcome this?
Dr. A: Why are you shy? Fear of rejection? Everyone fears rejection. Ignore your fear by focusing on the other person. Think of yourself as a confident and benevolent sociosexual missionary. Let it be your daily goal to make someone feel fuckable. Tomorrow your genitals could turn to dust. Get over your fear and go get laid.
Question: How long should I wait before sleeping with someone?
Dr. A: Long enough to put the condom on. There is no “right” or “wrong” time to sleep with someone. If your body is saying “I want to have sex!” then you need to have sex. Sex should not be used as a weapon or means of manipulation. Sex is an opportunity for exploration, discovery and real human connection. Have sex for the sake of having sex and have no expectations beyond the encounter. Enjoy pleasuring each other in the present without worrying about whether or not you have a future together. The world could end at any moment. Be safe. USE CONDOMS!
Question: How do I keep his or her respect in the morning?
Dr. A: “Respect in the morning”? Why did you stay over, you fool? It’s a hookup, not a slumber party. After sex, go home, shower and put yourself to bed. Don’t wait around until morning for the forced brunch invite; you have better things to do. To respect yourself in the morning, make sure you get what you want out of every sexual encounter. Always be clear about what you want in bed, and don’t be afraid to ORGASM– Offer Regular Guidance and Sometimes Money.
Come to my show and book release party on Valentine’ s Day and I will hook you up. It’s hundreds of hot, horny single people laughing, singing, and learning followed by an after-party at a very sexy bar. We are celebrating the release of my book, NEVER SLEEP ALONE and every audience member will receive a copy, which I will be signing at the after-party. Tickets: HERE
I really want you to come.