Dr. Alex is a crazy bitch. But her advice actually does work. Case in point- This summer, I read an advanced copy of Never Sleep Alone, decided to do the challenges and I went to Paris, travelling internationally for the first time in my life. Alone. And those first few days I did feel sexier and more powerful. I did meet strangers and have random hookups (and one was actually decent) I did find that I saw the world differently when I went out without my phone, blah, blah, blah. But after a terrible hookup that ended with a broken condom, I fell into a pit of depression and wrote Dr. Alex begging for advice. She said if I was lonely, I could come stay with her in Munich, Germany.
When I arrived, she made me lunch, she made me talk about my travels, she made me take a Plan B, and then she made me “get the fuck out.” She told me to “go see Bavaria” not come back until 11pm because she wanted “alone time” with her lover. She gave me an emergency cell phone and a bicycle. I was pissed. I thought this was the rudest thing anyone could ever do, but she didn’t really give a shit.
I rode around Munich angry and crying for the first hour, not knowing what to do. Then I sat by the river and began writing in my journal about what a cunt Dr. Alex was and what a stupid waste of money this trip was. And I began to actually realize the magic of what was happening. I was in Germany, sitting there in a beautiful red dress, next to my vintage bicycle, dipping my feet in a clear, cool river and writing in a leather journal as naked Germans were fishing twenty feet away. I was young and healthy and in fucking Europe! I wasn’t seeing the movie. I was BEING the movie. So, I stopped feeling sorry for myself, got back on my bicycle and ended up at a magical beer garden having a giant beer and a giant pretzel for the first time in my life and writing poetry (also for the first time in my life). I felt a sense of peace and purpose and oneness with the world that I had never felt before. I spent two blissful hours alone at that beergarden, just writing and drinking beer, eating pretzels and having no expectations.
And then I met Hans*. He asked me why I was sitting in a beer garden writing alone and I, without even thinking, responded the way Dr. Alex says you should:
“Because I want to.”
He laughed, said I was amazing and asked if he could join me. We talked for hours. We went for dinner. We went dancing. We truly connected. I told him about the awkwardness with Dr. A and he said he had a spare room at his place or I could even stay at his mother’s house. I took him up on his offer. Dr. Alex said, “You’re welcome” and insisted I keep the phone and gave me 50 euro for an emergency cab. I slept in Hans’s spare room that night and we didn’t even kiss. The next day he took me all around Bavaria, and that night, over drinks, asked if he could kiss me. We kissed. We saw stars. And the rest is history. We are still together to this day. And we just got engaged last week. And he said the whole reason he wanted to talk to me was because I was sitting alone, writing in a red dress and looking like somebody out of a movie.
Most of us do not want to spend our lives having sex with random strangers and constantly needing to be the center of attention. Most of us want to live a quiet life, get married and have children. I recently re-read Never Sleep Alone and realized, Dr. Alex never actually says, “You must go fuck a lot of random strangers!” The book is actually about examining your values, taking chances you would never normally take, living romantically and sensually and transforming your life in ways you never thought possible. So, I don’t recommend hanging out with Dr. Alex aka Roslyn Hart because, as I said, bitch is crazy. But, I do recommend reading her book, because ya know what? Bitch is right.
*Names changed to protect the awesome. Send your NSA Story to DoctorAlex@Neversleepalone.com.