Sex is fun. Babies are not. Babies are loud. Babies are needy. And babies are EXPENSIVE. So, until you are financially and emotionally ready to have a baby, you need to take precautions so that you don’t get pregnant.
1. Birth Control: I promise to provide a comprehensive list of international resources for birth control soon. But, in the meantime, google that shit. If you live in the USA, go to Planned Parenthood’s website to find out how to get FREE birth control, free STI testing and free OBGYN services. I found the birth control pill very effective, though it did make me gain a little weight. If you’re super skinny and want bigger boobs, try it! The Depo-Provera shot is a good option for those that can’t remember to take a pill. But, my friends and I all like the Paraguard non hormonal, long-term IUD the best. Talk to your doctor about what’s right for you. All birth control methods may have possible side effects. But, they’re rare and highly recommend over having a baby before you’re ready. AND ALWAYS USE CONDOMS!
2. Emergency Contraception: If a condom breaks or you’ve forgotten to take your birth control pill, take a Plan B! It’s a one-step pill that significantly reduces your chance of getting pregnant and in the USA, it’s now AVAILABLE OVER THE COUNTER FOR ANYONE WHO NEEDS IT! You can get it for free at Planned Parenthood if you qualify. It is NOT an abortion pill. It prevents you from getting pregnant. I’ve taken it 3 times, never had any side effect and never gotten pregnant. It is NOT to be used as regular birth control. Only in emergencies.
3. Make Him Pull Out: This is the LEAST effective method of birth control. I HIGHLY recommend you do not resort to this method. But, it’s better than nothing.
4. Try Anal: This is NOT recommended unless you are in a committed and monogamous long-term relationship and you’ve both been tested for STIs. Having anal sex is a serious thing and you are way more likely to contract an STI having anal. BUT, if you and your partner are free of diseases and in a long-term committed and monogamous relationship, anal sex can be a lot of fun! Sure, it hurts a little at first. But, ya know what hurts a lot more? Having a fucking baby! Be careful post-ejacultation that semen does not accidentally end up in your vagina! No fingers, penises or tongues in there until after you have both taken a long, hot, soapy shower. Sperm can live for a few minutes outside the body. Again DO NOT DO THIS UNLESS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER HAVE BEEN TESTED FOR STIs AND ARE IN A TRUSTING MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP!
5. Abstinence: Still the only 100 percent effective birth control method. If you ain’t having intercourse, you ain’t getting pregnant. There’s a million other fun things you can do in bed. And you really oughta spend your younger years learning how to be awesome at oral sex and have Mind Blowing Orgasms. There is absolutely no reason to let a man stick his penis in you until he has already given you at least 3 MBOs with his mouth, hands or feet. I STILL stick to that rule, and I’m 38 years old. JUST DON’T DO IT.
I promise you list of international birth control and sexual health resources soon. Please protect yourselves, my beautiful angels. And no matter what birth control method you choose, you should ALWAYS USE CONDOMS to protect yourself from STIs. Tell that fucker–
NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!