Since last Thursday’s publication of my oral sex piece for the men’s magazine Complex, I have received countless e-mails from male readers asking me to elaborate on some of the points I made. This week, I will be offering several expanded lessons about how to become a God at Going Down and a Master of MBOs. Next week, I will do a series for women readers on The Art of Fellatio, but for now, fellas, LISTEN UP.
The most important thing to remember is that most women have had lots of unsatisfactory oral sex experiences. So, if you can separate yourself from the Mediocre Majority and do it right, she will see you as a rock star, a king, a golden GOD of the MBO (Mind Blowing Orgasm). And, in appreciation for the intense pleasure you have given her, she will respect you, she will adore you, and she will worship every inch of your perfect cock over and over and over again until you both pass out in a state of mutual euphoric bliss.
Lesson 1: Get Your Shit Together
Most women are not like most men who will gladly take a blow job anytime, anywhere and from almost anyone. This doesn’t mean that you are an insensitive animal and it does not mean that she is a high-maintenance bitch. It just means that men and women are different. Women need to be turned on by the setting and circumstances surrounding the oral sex experience if they are to actually enjoy the oral sex itself
When you are first seducing a woman, you need to behave differently than the beta-male douche bags that usually try to seduce her. When going out to meet women or taking a woman out on a date, you need to dress elegantly, behave confidently, and have a definite plan for the evening.
Nobody wants to have sex (oral or otherwise) with an awkward and self-deprecating man who just wants to “hang out or whatever”. She doesn’t want a Seth Rogen character going down her.
She wants James Bond going down on her. When seducing a woman, always think, WWJD–
What Would James Do?
James would dress in an effortlessly elegant outfit and be an articulate and witty conversationalist, asking the woman interesting questions about herself and her views on things. James would be simultaneously direct and sensitive in his seduction. James would never “split the check.”
If James didn’t have the money to take a woman out for dinner or drinks, he would arrange a picnic in the park, or cook dinner for her at his apartment. James’s apartment would be clean, his music would be good and his cock-blocking roommate would be elsewhere.
Tomorrow we will go more into the mechanics of making out and Going Down, but for now, focus on the seduction and —
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.