If you haven’t read my latest piece on Nerve.com, here is a reminder on how NOT to behave while interacting with hot PEEPs (Persons of Equivalent Erotic Potential) at The NSA Seminar and after-party this Friday night.
If you follow the advice below, you will transcend the Mediocre Majority and rapidly accelerate your transformation into The One that everyone wants.
1. Never complain.
Nobody wants to hear about how your dog is sick, your job sucks, and your ex is an asshole. Most people complain all the time. So, if you don’t complain, not only will you be better than everyone else, but the people you interact with will assume you love your life, which will make them want to become a part of your world.
2. Never speak quickly or loudly.
Nobody wants to hang out with a hyper, insecure, attention-whore (female or male). Most people talk way too fast and way too loud. So if you can speak slowly and lowly, especially in crowded places, you will not only appear to be a confident and relaxed Exceptional Individual who is better than the mediocre majority, but people will have to lean in to you in order to hear you, which will make everyone around you feel that person wants you. If they think this person wants you, then they will also want you. And if this person thinks they want you, then he or she will want you even more. Desire is contagious.
3. Never misuse the word “like.”
Nobody wants to sleep with someone who sounds as though they belong on a reality show about unfuckable idiots. Most people misuse the word “like” an average of seven times per minute. Therefore, if you can watch yourself and make yourself SSL (Stop. Saying. “Like.”), not only will you be better than everyone one else, but your constant vigilance over your speech patterns will help you to remember to speak slowly, lowly and never complain.
I guarantee if you can actually make yourself stop talking like everyone else, you be well on your way to becoming The One that everyone wants.
See you tomorrow.