Smartphones are turning human beings into SocioSexually Retarded robots who are incapable of making real human connections. Your desperate need to be in constant virtual connection with people via Facebook, text messaging and e-mail is keeping you from making actual connections with actual people who actually want to sleep with you.
If you want to Never Sleep Alone, you must start leaving your phone at home when you go out at night. I guarantee that if you stop taking your phone with you everywhere you go, you will become exponentially more attractive, you will be a happier person, and people will want to give you MBOs.
MBO=Mind Blowing Orgasm
How are you supposed to live without your phone?
Remember how to use a pen and paper?
All you have to do is figure out where you want to go, write down the name, address and directions on a piece of paper, and then go there.
If you get lost, you can ask a sexually relevant human being for help.
Don’t say: “But, what if someone is trying to get ahold of me?!”
People can wait.
People want to wait.
Making people wait makes people want to sleep with you.
I challenge you to come to The NSA Seminar and After-Party at Joe’s Pub this Friday night without your phone. I guarantee it will be the best Friday night of your life.
Tickets available HERE.